What’s Self-Esteem Got to Do With Success?
Christy R. Hall
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~Sharon Salzberg
Your self-esteem is at the root of your success (and also your failures) whether you realize it or not. That’s because it controls the results of everything you do. It’s always with you and can work for you (like a cheerleader) or against you (like a bully.)
If you believe you deserve something, your self-esteem and it’s subconscious programming will direct and guide you to the exact outcome by helping you in every action you take. But even if you didn’t grow up with a great self-esteem, you can (even now) change it.
1. Take an honest look at yourself. Ask a friend to help you with this if you need to. Folks with low self-esteem have an inaccurate picture of themselves. They may have unrealistic expectations that cause them to see themselves as having some fatal flaw or a failure.
2. See challenges as opportunities for success. Visualize yourself being successful. Trust in your ability to change your life in positive ways. Start by making a list of the smallest things that you changed that were for the better. (Example: I bought a Human Solutions trash can to “solve a problem.” It did, and I was happier because my decision resulted in a positive outcome.
3. Use everyday experiences as opportunities to build your esteem instead of tear it down. Every day we experience negative thing. People cut us off, we mess things up, we accidentally step on the cat. It happens, we’re human. But instead of using those opportunities as excuses to beat on yourself (or go running to the pantry), use it as a moment to reflect on the good you did in the moment. Maybe you stepped on the cat, but you bought him his favorite cat treat. Perhaps you did mess up that report, but you’re not dumb. Maybe you misread, or misunderstood. It’s not about making excuses, but about looking for the positives and learning from your experiences.
See, positive self-esteem comes from one of three sources:
- Hearing good things about yourself.
- Thinking good things about yourself.
- Doing things that make you proud of yourself.
Every thought that you say to yourself is programming your brain. Studies have shown that as much as 87% of what people say to themselves is negative. But you can consciously train yourself to resist negative thinking and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. This is completely within your control, so be sure that your self talk builds you up rather than tears you down.
Practice these things everyday to begin raising your self-esteem, and thus your levels of success. When you feel positively about yourself, it will show up in every area of your life.
“When you feel positively about yourself, it will show up in every area of your life.”